Searching For My Light
by Demon Hunter Anamae
Summary: ~Complete~ Cloud's musings as he looks for his 'light'. R&R please.
1. Chapter 1

I am looking for her, even now.  
  
I do not care how long I have to search, or how far I have to travel. I know that if I believe in myself, in my strength and in my determination, then I shall find my light again, and bring her home safely.  
  
It was not always like this. We use to be together before, inseparable. But then one day, as stars were falling from the sky, our world was destroyed. I do not know how it happened and frankly I do not care. I tried to reach her, tried to save my light, but she was pulled from my grasp into the darkness. I cursed; I cried and I could not be comforted. I was all alone, it seemed I was the lone survivor.  
  
I do not know how, when, where or why, but I was saved and cast into another world, alien for me and yet at the same time it felt like I was home. There were people there, the same as me, and just as me, they told the same story. Stars were falling from the worlds that they had lived in and then the destruction came. These people said that there were survivors from every world; some had found family and friends. My heart, which had been dark and cold, suddenly felt a bit lighter. Perhaps my light had survived as well. Did she? Was she perhaps looking for me at the same time?  
  
I travelled around the world I had fallen into, and not finding her, headed to the other worlds by pathways in shadow and darkness. I know the going will be hard, but I am determined to find my light again. I know she is out there somewhere, and I do not care what I have to do, where I have to go or how far I will have to search, if only to see her again. I shall find my light.  
  
And I shall bring her home. 


	2. Chapter 2

"I could help you find this 'light' you are looking for, pal. Of course, to do so you'll need to do something for me in return."  
  
I looked at the tall and imposing figure in front of me, clothed in black robes with wisps of smoke curling around his feet. The man's skin was a pale blue, and his 'hair' was nothing more than blue flame. This did not surpise or frighten me. As I travelled around the new worlds, I had seen many new and stranges things. This man was nothing new. But what he said enticed me.  
  
"How?" I questioned, looking at him in the flaming orbs that were his eyes. I folded my arms across my chest, flexing the muscles and shifting my sword on my back.   
  
"First let us introduce ourselves. Everything becomes so much easier." He stuck out a hand with nails that were as sharp as razors. "Name's Hades, Lord of the Dead and of the Underworld. Pleased to meet you." I gazed at his hand; I did not offer my own. Hades gave a quick shrug and dropped his hand. "And you are?"  
  
"Cloud Strife."  
  
An uncomfortable silence hung in the air. "Not one for many words, are you," Hades quipped. I looked stonily at him.   
  
"You said you could help me. If all you wish to do is just talk instead, then I can leave." I began to turn around to head back out the large door I had entered from. Hades clamped a hand down on my shoulder and whirled me back around. I shrugged him off quickly and gave him a cold look. If he dared to touch me again, then I would kill him, even if he was a god of sorts.  
  
"Whoa, whoa, whoa kid, take it easy. Man, you're not someone to get along with, are you? Look, I can help you find what you're looking for Cloud, but in turn you have to do something for me."  
  
"Name it," I spoke quickly. If I could have any help in finding the person I held most dear, in finding her, then I would jump at the chance. I had stumbled across this world called the Colossum by accident; travelling through the gateways and shadow worlds were difficult and when this place had come into view, I had nearly said a prayer for that was how long I had been in the dark looking for my light.  
  
Hades smiled paternaly at me; I hated him already. "I need you to beat someone for me; someone who is getting in my way. Look, in this world we have games; competitions. You know what they are, right?" I didn't answer but began to tap my foot impatiently. Hades continued to talk, faster this time. "Anyway these's this one guy who's a real pain in the behind for me; a nusiance that I would like gotten rid of. He's called Herculeas. You enter into the games, beat the people, and then you'll come up against Herc, who is at the top. You beat him and I can help you to find your 'light'. You scratch my back and I scratch yours. Deal?"  
  
"So I just have to beat him," I questioned. It did not seem that hard; I had faced off against strong opponents beforehand in many competitions and I had always won. And with what I had seen in my travels, I feared nothing. I was stronger and smarter than before.  
  
"Beat, kill, maim, whatever you like, kid. All that you need to do is just dispose that creep Herculeas from the top, and all will be well. Trust me." Hades smiled, revealing a set of sharp and jagged teeth. Inwardly I recoiled.  
  
No, I did not trust Hades, but I wanted his help all the same. "Very well," I nodded.  
  
"Excellent kid, just excellent! We'll sign you up and get you going and before you know it, you'll be back on the road looking for that special someone, eh?" Hades slapped me on the back, hard, and I quickly turned around with my sword drawn.  
  
"Touch me again and our alliance is over." The Lord of the Underworld took a step back. I placed my sword on my back again, securing the strap. I turned towards the main enterance into the Colossum, then quickly whirled around to face Hades. "And the name is Cloud, not 'kid'. Remember that, Hades." 


	3. Chapter 3

That first match was not even difficult. The second one was no contestant either. Neither was the third or fourth. Honestly, where did these beings come from? I cut them down easily with my buster sword as if they were mere tissue paper. There was no real challenge to this at all; it was like fighting a small child with both of my arms tied behind my back. Maybe one or two beings, some demon with wings on their back not unlike my own were a challenge, but in the end they still fell before me. As I finished slaying a lumbering beast of massive proportions, I seriously began to consider why I had even taken Hades' help at all? I obviously did not need it. Already I had entered into the top 25, and it was done all on my own. Like everything else I had ever done in life.  
  
But now I was close to fighting this Herculeas, and after I beat him, then Hades would give me the information that I required.  
  
I was sitting down on the colossum steps, my sword propped up beside me and my hands in my lap as I watched the other contestants. This is what I did while the other fighters went off to 'relax'. I studied my soon-to-be opponents moves, looking for a weakness in which to exploit. It is what ever true fighter does; some of these people I scoff at silently as they enter the ring. Death is not permitted in the Colossum, but if it were, then the stones would have been stained with the blood of the untalented long ago. Of course there is one contestant that I have watched closely; he seems to be fairly competent for someone so young. Already with the help of his two friends, beings who are more than a little weird to look at, have entered into the semi-finals with me. Perhaps, I mused silently, I will be facing him shortly.  
  
"Hey Cloud," I heard Hades said beside me. I glanced over my shoulder to see the Lord of the Underworld looking my way. "Come here, kid." I rolled my eyes in irritation but stood, grasping my sword and easily swinging it over my left shoulder.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
Hades pointed one of his disgusting fingernails towards the direction of the young boy, still fighting in the ring. "You'll be fighting him next, okay? Kid's name is Sora. I need him gone. And I mean gone."  
  
I quirked an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, accidents do happen, ya know what I mean?" He winked at me. "Death is not suppose to happen in the ring, but it does occur on a few rare occasions. This might be one of them." Hades punched me in the shoulder; I turned on him with my eyes blazing.  
  
"Don't touch me if you want to keep that arm," I growled. The demon wing on me flexed slightly.  
  
The Lord of the Dead held his hands up. "Yeesh, okay, okay. Anyway, just deal with the kid and you're one step away from fighting Herc." My lips turned down in disgust. If I did not need Hades' help, which I was beginning to think was not required at all, then I would have killed him then and there.  
  
"Accidents do happen," I narrowed my eyes as I looked at this kid Sora. If he was standing in my way of reaching my light, then I would go through him to get to her. A child was a child, but if he was fighting in the games, then he had to be ready to accept the consequences for what would soon happen to him. The satyr, Phil, stood up on a platform and bleated out in his broken voice, "The next contestant is Cloud Strife versus Sora and Company! All bets are on!"  
  
I stepped away from Hades and moved down with the calm and easy grace that I had, walking slowly but surely. I locked my eyes with Sora's as I passed him, throwing towards him an image of someone he could not hope to beat, someone who would smash his body into the groun without remorse. Unlike the other contestants he did not flinch away from me. Heh, one point for the kid for having the courage to stand up to me. Perhaps this would be one fight worthy of me.  
  
I was looking forwards to this battle. 


	4. Chapter 4

I held my buster sword easily in both hands, flexing my grip on the handle and narrowing my eyes. Standing across from me with his friends that kid Sora waited, holding some weird sword that I had never seen before in my life, and I had seen many things. Heh, no matter. This kid would unfortunatly become one of the few 'accidents' in the Colossum. The people sitting in the stands were cheering; to me they were nothing more than background noise, something that was muted and not really there. Shifting my gaze to Sora's friends I wondered dimly if they would be any challenge. The mage, Donald, wouldn't be; hiding behind his cowardly magic and not fighting as a true warrior shoulder. And the other one hiding behind his toy shield as if it could protect him from my sword. One cleave from my blood-stained blade and it would be all over for him. No, I would fight Sora. With him gone, his friends fighting spirit would be broken and the match would be won.  
  
The bell rang clear and loud in the still air, signalling the beginning of the fight. Tightening the muscles in my legs, I sprinted forwards, a battle cry on my lips. In any fight if you did not take the offensive immediatly, strike first, then you would lose. A rule that I had always gone by and hand won. Bringing down my buster sword, all of my rage and hate against the world channeled into one stroke that would sever Sora's soul from this world, I was surprised that the boy not only blocked my downwards blow but managed to parry it to the side as well.  
  
"What?" I choked out quickly, already stepping back and bringing my sword around again. This time aiming for the kid's stomach, I knew it would be a cut that he would not walk away from. Suddenly that annoying friend of his, Goofy, was there. He caught the edge of my sword with his shield, taking the blow. "Move," I howled at him, smashing my left foot forwards and into his unprotected legs. With a cry of pain that was almost comical the would-be savior of Sora jumped out of the way, hopping around on one leg. From the crowd cries of 'Foul' and 'Cheater' drifted towards me. Not like I paid them any attention. Now Sora was once again open and undefended. Before he could bring his own sword up to bear I sprinted forwards, feeling my buster sword cut across this upper left arm. Turning to the side quickly I threw a punch into the kid's back, knocking him to the ground at the same time hearing a bone snap in his body. Some part of me long ago would have felt remorse, but that part died far back.  
  
"Soraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa," the mage quacked wildly, flailing his hands into the air. He gave a high-pitched cry of rage and raced towards me, bashing the pommel of his staff against my right leg. Then that annoying Goofy was beside Donald, cluncking me over the back with no finesse with his shield. I quickly darted away from the two and pulled back to the edge of the ring to assess the situation.   
  
Obviously I had underestimated them.   
  
Sora rose to his feet quickly; the kid was tough. The mage casted a healing spell on the kid, and then three pairs of eyes turned in my direction. "You can't win this fight," Sora shouted to me as he charged.  
  
"You're wrong," I whispered to myself. "You are wrong." Unfurling the demon wing that had up until this moment remained dormant, I quickly beat the air with it and rose into the sky. Sora made a clumsy jump at me, the tip of his arcane sword just touching the edge of my boot, but neither he nor his friends could reach me. "Now see what you are really up against," I shouted at him, diving down with my sword in front of me. He cried out in pain as I scored another blow against him. Twisting around in the air, I saw I had the perfect mark. The kid's back was open to me, unguarded and just waiting to be cut open by my blade. I grinned evilly and flew back towards him, increasing my speed.   
  
"Blizzard!"  
  
Suddenly a frigid blast of air struck me, knocking my down from the sky and onto my back. Pain coursed over my form; as the colourful lights vanished from my eyes I saw that my legs were firmly encased in ice.   
  
"Damn you," I raged at Donald. The mage dashed towards me as I tried to rise, ready to thwack me over the head with his staff. I clumsily lashed out at him, hitting the overly large duck on the bill and sending him sprawling backwards. Grabbing my buster sword I tried to hack the ice off of me, to no avail.   
  
"Take that!" Sora bashed me with the flat of his blade, seeking to only injure and not kill me. No, this was not how it was suppose to be! I was suppose to win and this kid was suppose to be carried out dead on a stretcher. Three more times Sora attacked me; twice from the left and once from the right. Using a magic I had never seen I was thrown backwards, the force behind the blow enough to shatter the magical ice that had held me down. As I hit the edge of the ring and tumbled out, bashing my head against the rocky ground, I could hear the crowd roar their approval and the satyr yell out "The winners!!! Sora and Company!"  
  
No, I screamed silently at myself, this was not how it was suppose to end. I was suppose to win; I had to win. If I didn't then I would not gain the information to find my light. But it was no use; the darkness washed over me, the crowd chanting Sora's name the last thing I heard.  
  
I had lost everything. 


	5. Chapter 5

Out of everything, out of the darkness and the misery, I finally received hope from an unexpected source.  
  
That child, Sora, gave me back the one thing that I had been missing since I first started out on thise quest that had no end for me. For a child that was not even past fifteen years, he carried a weight on his shoulders that did not seem that differant from my own.   
  
Sitting down on the Colossum steps after the battle, after my embarassing defeat, I was in darkness. Now I would never find my light. She was gone from my side forever; just when I thought that perhaps I could begin my life with her anew, she was torn from me. When I had the smallest shred of hope that I would somehow find her again, it had been coldly torn from me. It was as if my heart had been ripped out and tossed into a fire. Then in a voice that was not laced with arrogance but with tenderness, Sora spoke to me.  
  
He told me that he was also looking for someone important to him, that he was fighting to stay away from the darkness. Sora said with words that came from experiance that if I continued to fight against the darkness that was both within and outside of me then I could win, that in the end the sun always came back out again from behind the clouds. In his young eyes I saw a light burning there, a light that had gone out from my own eyes long ago. There was hope.  
  
And when Sora smiled at me, I could not help but smile back at him. That kid had rekindled my hope.  
  
As he left to pursue his own quest again, to find that one person that was important to him, I left off to follow my own path. It was not lit, and no longer in ominous shadows that threatened to take me down. I think then that I would pick up the trail of my light on a new world, one placed called Traverse Town.  
  
It seemed a good place to start over again, to find her.  
  
Do not worry, Aerith, I will find you and bring you back home to me. And then I will make sure that we will never be seperated again, that the darkness will not take me like it nearly did before.  
  
My light and my love, wait for me still.  
  
--- Fin --- 


End file.
